The one thing that TERRIFIED me about this whole getting pregnant thing (besides the gaining of 3 billion pounds, the possibility of permanent stretch marks, the mutilage of my girly parts, the weight of bringing another life onto our overcrowded and dying earth and then of sending that new little life straight into therapy...) was telling my boss.
Don't get me wrong, my boss is kind, understanding, friendly, family-oriented - any good word or phrase you can think of to describe a boss, probably describes mine. (Even "seldom there!")
But I was still terrfied.
So I made the Unsupportive Louse come with me. Because this time if my boss threatened to fire me if I didn't come back after 6 weeks maternity leave, I was going to have a WITNESS damn it! And he is the douche that knocked me up after all!
So he did. He stood by my side and smiled at all the right times and looked all proud of his sperm at all the right times and said all the right things at all the right times. (If anyone ever tells you that man isn't supportive, you shouldn't believe a damn word that comes out of their mouth!)
And my boss congratulated me and didn't bat an eye when I told him I wanted to take four months off.
And now my worst fears are over. Besides the whole mutilation of my girly parts thing... (It's not too late to change my mind, is it??)