Monday, June 21, 2010

Mexican Mishap #4 - Goggles? Weed?

Ever since last summer when the Energizer Bunny watched the Male Pill swim out into the ocean with his goggles on, he has been obsessed with goggles. (An obvious obsession, really.) And every visit, he asks the Male Pill where his goggles are.

So for this vacation, the Male Pill visited one of his favorite (read: dollar) stores and purchased a pair of goggles for the Energizer Bunny.

Upon arriving in Mexico, the Male Pill related this information to us and brought us to their room, opened the closet in which the goggles were stashed...and out poured the very strong, very clear scent of good ol' marajuana.

The Unsupportive Louse and I crinkled our noses and gave each other funny looks, but waited until we'd left the room to comment, as it seemed the Pills were completely unaffected by the overwhelming smell.

Perhaps, we surmised, the previous tenants of the room had hidden their stash in that closet and the stench simply carried over. Perhaps. But it was awfully strong. It would be HILARIOUS to me if my in-laws had taken up the habit of smoking weed. HILARIOUS. So funny I wish I could say I thought it was true.

(In an aside here, I'd like to add that the goggles were too big for the Energizer Bunny otherwise, this story may have had a very different ending, most likely including Custom officials and drug dogs and jail time...)

But we brought those goggles back to our room, tossed them on the table and headed out for lunch. And when we came back? The ENTIRE condo-type "room" (kitchen, dining room, living room, bedroom, two full bathrooms...) the ENTIRE thing smelled of maryjane. As if the maids had come in and had a full-blown, no holds barred joint smoking party while we were gone, then cleaned up after themselves (as all good maids would), and continued on cleaning other rooms, red-eyed and giggly.

Picking up the goggles by the strap, I held them to my nose. And made what I can only imagine was the most attractive face I made all week. Even in light of the back-flipping beach gymnasts. The damn things SMELLED.

So we decided to put them out on the porch overnight, let them air out a bit. Nothing a little ocean air and hurricane force winds can't fix.

Wrong. TWO days and nights later, those damn 99cent goggles still smelled like they'd been smuggled into the country amongst and entire shipment of cannabis.

So we thought maybe we'd soak them in some hot, soapy water. We put them in the sink, with hot as can be water slowly draining and constantly replenishing with fresh hot water, an entire bottle of the hotel shampoo crap poured in...for 6 hours (environmentalists be damned!) and they STILL smelled like a drug bust waiting to happen.

Run them through the dishwasher? Take them in the pool with the chlorine? In ocean's salt water?

Nope, nope, nope.

We left the damn things on the porch. Hope some maid's kid gets a nice high off of them.

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